1. Cutting your Chihuahua's hair is not a good idea and will result in your one and only spanking.
2. When you are 7 and 19 you'll have the desire to get a perm. Don't do it. You will look like a deranged lion.
3. When you are 16 there will be a cocky boy who is not worth your time. He'll drop you like a bad habit and take off with another girl.
4. Spend more time with your girlfriends in high school AND college.
5. You'll spend 6 years of your life with someone, and that's fine. Go ahead. Some lessons you need to learn.
6. If he's a older, a cross between Matthew McConaughey and Paul Newman, run and run FAST. He's another one that will rip your heart out and stomp that fu*ker flat.
7. Jager bombs are never a good idea, no matter what your friends say.
8. Never waste time missing someone. If they are worth it, then they will be waiting. If not, then you'll find that out soon.
9. Don't be a doormat. Be a bitch. Because you can.
10. When you graduate from university, go immediately to graduate school. Do not pass go until this is done.
11. Enjoy every opportunity you are given, they don't come along so often and you are a lucky girl.
12. Freaking relax already. Worry does you no good, except make you sick.
13. Hug your Mama every chance you get.