Thursday, March 31, 2011 the dusty corners of my mind.

Metal sliding boards...the 80's version of microdermabrasion for the thighs.
Riding a bike without a helmet and no one cared.
 Rotary dial telelphone. Having to start over after my excitement to make a call tripped up my fingers.
Scrunchies, slap bracelets, Garbage pail Kids (which I was never allowed to have).
Getting my nickname...Punky Brewster
Feathered bangs
Jordache Jeans
Eating banana popsicles with my mama
Michael Jackson's BAD album
Seeing Terminator 2 at the theater and falling in love with Edward Furlong
Riding around all day Saturdays with my girlfriends blasting Coolio
Watching Friday afraid of getting caught.
Sharing a 6 pack of wine coolers on the backroads
Getting my own cell phone at the ripe old age of 20
Drinking beer at the Refuge
Saturday night, dollar night at Rick's
Being an adult sucks.
But I love it.

Monday, March 28, 2011

30 Seconds to Foo Fighters: A lyrical puzzle.

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse.
I tried to be someone else.
But nothing seemed to change.
I know now this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself. Fighting for a chance.
I know now, This is who I really am inside
We were the Kings and Queens of Promise
We were the victims of ourselves.
My intentions never change.
What I want just stays the same.
And I know what I should do.
It’s time to set myself on fire.
I’m never alone. I’m alone all the time.
Honest to God, I will break your heart.
Tear you to pieces and rip you apart.
Run away, Run away I’ll attack
Run away, Run away, Go chase yourself

**Not my words. All song lyrics belong to either Foo Fighters, Bush or 30 Seconds to Mars. I just really like them and made them into my own poem.**

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Stupid Hair and Warped Reality

Thank you Firehouse for giving me a Cinderella complex at the age of 11. Relationships are nothing like you led me to believe.

1. "Every time we kiss our love is like brand-new." What?!?! Who are you kidding?
2. "We know that we will be together because our love is strong." BA HA HA. Say that again after she cheats on you with your drummer.
3. "We know our dreams will all come true with loving we can share." What the hell does that even mean? Love conquers all? That's just bull shit.
4. "Ohh, forever in my heart, I've finally found the love of a lifetime." It's forever, until you get sick of each other and live in silent hatred.
5. Even the love of a lifetime won't change the fact that you have stupid hair.

When I was 15, you churned out this little gem and solidified my warped sense of what can be expected from the heart of a man.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Ode to Wyatt..

Last night I got kicked in the face, by a tiny little man.
It was a surprise attack, and zoom, off he ran.
But not before he slapped my face, followed by a maniacal laugh.
He knocked over the garbage can and growled, proving his wrath.
He demanded that I feed him and proceeded to make a mess.
The floor ate more than he did, and most ended up on my dress.
He lifted his arms, as if to say, “Come on! Pick me up!”
I obeyed, my reward, a swift kick in the stomach.
On the floor he sat, but he was not still for too long.
He crawled onto the dog who (I could tell) felt he was wronged.
Next he targeted the hallway, trailing destruction in his wake.
I tried to minimize the damage, but it was more than I could take.
I heard his rumblings and the clatter of things being thrown around.
I heard the squeals of delight as he marveled in the items he’d found.
He sounded like a caveman would, a modern missing link.
I arrived just in time before he escaped under the sink.
I grabbed his chubby little legs and gently brought him out.
I used all my strength, just to lift him, as this tiny man was stout.
He rubbed his eyes, gave a great big yawn, and laid his head upon my shoulder.
For a moment, a little moment, I wished that he would never grow older.
Moments like these are poignant reminders of just how fast time goes.
Then he pulled my hair, poked me in the eye and put his thumb up my nose

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What I wish I could do..

1. Learn to fight.  I don't want to get into street fights, no, but I would like to be able to kick some ass if I had to.
2. Speak another language fluently. I have a degree in Spanish. It might as well be a degree in breadmaking.
3. Win the lottery.
4. Move to Europe for a year. Or 10.
5. Finish a round of P90x.
6. Sew.
7. Decipher toddler speak.
8. Fly a fighter jet. Really. I would love to do this.
9. Sing. And do it well.
10. Actually listen to someone else without spacing out for half of the conversation.

This is in no pertickler order of importance and doesn't encompass everything I wish I could do. Just what popped into my head at this random moment. I have many random thoughts, but that's a whole 'nother topic.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Feature Creatures of Facebook (and also great band names!)

1. The Complainers - Yes, you have something to bitch about. We know. Every. Day. You let us know. Every. Day.
2. The Stalkers - Do you have to comment on everything I say, unnamed relative(s)? 
3. The Whiners - Poor, poor pitiful you. We feel so sorry for you. Not really.
4. The Bible Thumpers - Your hourly bible verses/end of the world status updates will not save my soul.
5. The Pious Mamas - Yes, you breastfed for 10 years, only feed your child organic, vegan, whole foods with no dairy or gluten or casein, you are so awesome you never even used CLOTH diapers because you managed to potty train at birth using sign language - a birth that was at home and unmedicated, by the way. Thank you for the daily reminders of your perfection. 
6. The Angry Drunk - You seem to need a "cold" one or 20 everyday and your angry, racist ramblings only remind me that you need rehab and I need to block you.
7. The Quote Master - Find your own words. An occasional quote is great. Ten a day? Overkill.
8. The Lovers - I wish I was as in love as you are. Really. You must have the most wonderful spouse/partner/significant other in the world. Very interesting. But, it's not.
9. The Guy who can't get a date and can't figure out why - You're crazy and weird dude. Get a clue and a grip.
10. The Parents - Yes, your child is wonderful, funny, cute, smart and all of the above times 10. We don't...wait a minute. I just described myself. Never mind.

***Everyone is guilty of most of these during their Facebook tenure. No offense is meant. But......there are some people who personify these creatures on a daily basis.***