Friday, March 18, 2011

Feature Creatures of Facebook (and also great band names!)

1. The Complainers - Yes, you have something to bitch about. We know. Every. Day. You let us know. Every. Day.
2. The Stalkers - Do you have to comment on everything I say, unnamed relative(s)? 
3. The Whiners - Poor, poor pitiful you. We feel so sorry for you. Not really.
4. The Bible Thumpers - Your hourly bible verses/end of the world status updates will not save my soul.
5. The Pious Mamas - Yes, you breastfed for 10 years, only feed your child organic, vegan, whole foods with no dairy or gluten or casein, you are so awesome you never even used CLOTH diapers because you managed to potty train at birth using sign language - a birth that was at home and unmedicated, by the way. Thank you for the daily reminders of your perfection. 
6. The Angry Drunk - You seem to need a "cold" one or 20 everyday and your angry, racist ramblings only remind me that you need rehab and I need to block you.
7. The Quote Master - Find your own words. An occasional quote is great. Ten a day? Overkill.
8. The Lovers - I wish I was as in love as you are. Really. You must have the most wonderful spouse/partner/significant other in the world. Very interesting. But, it's not.
9. The Guy who can't get a date and can't figure out why - You're crazy and weird dude. Get a clue and a grip.
10. The Parents - Yes, your child is wonderful, funny, cute, smart and all of the above times 10. We don't...wait a minute. I just described myself. Never mind.

***Everyone is guilty of most of these during their Facebook tenure. No offense is meant. But......there are some people who personify these creatures on a daily basis.***

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