Thank you Jill Conner Browne for extoling your infinite wisdom.

If you haven't read The Sweet Potato Queens Books of Love , you must run out immediately and get it. Or order it online. Or borrow if from a friend. I don't care. Just do it. It will change your life or at least make your laugh your ass off. You'll love me for it. I swear! I really shouldn't swear. Southern ladies don't swear. Good thing I'm not a lady in any way, shape, form or fashion. My mama and grandmother just don't know where they went wrong. Enjoy the teaser below!

“There are five different kinds of men you must endeavor to have in your life at all times in order to have the equivalent of one completely satisfactory man…[because] it is clearly not possible to find all the required attributes in one single man, and we should not expend needless energy by even looking for him…

The Basic Five are these:

1. A man who can fix things.
2. A man you can dance with.
3. A man who can pay for things.
4. A man you can talk to.
5. A man to have great sex with.

 "This is the rudimentary team you need to form… certainly other functions can be added to suit your more refined tastes, but with this starting lineup, you can at least avoid abject misery.”